Guppie pic!!

As another side this is a new picture of little Guppie!! He is still one of the cutest i have ever seen, and of course Bob had to dress him up all in Yankee stuff. (but we won't fault the little man for that!) Darcy also put up some other pics on her myspace page, and while all the pics are great... the ones with Darcy, Bob and Connor as just freaking adorable!! I am soo happy that they have the family they have always wanted!

It's 5 o'clock Somewhere!

I AM GOING TO SEE JIMMY! i use to work at Verizon Wireless Music Center a.k.a... Deer Creek (which it will always be!) in Noblesville, and i have gotten the privelge to see and hear ALOT of great concerts. But tomm 7/29 i will be heading to one of the most interesting experiences i have yet to have... THE JIMMY BUFFET CONCERT! basically if any of you don't know, the concert is like one HUGE party. so it will be interesting! i am sooo excited. and mom is going with me and she is a big Buffet fan! I went into fort wayne the other day and she has her grass skirt, and shark fin hat... yeah little scared! LOL! guess mom it def where i get the craziness side of me! LOL

as for the last post... thank you emma and jillie for your great words... and i don't even know what was up with me at that point in time. prolly just had to get something out of my head. and jill you started this blog thing! LOL LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH!

Just something that popped into my head

Maybe this is just me, but maybe not. Have you ever wanted to be with someone or not be with someone and things just aren't' working out? I know this is confusing... and if you were in my head right now you would kinda know where i am coming from. (that is if you would not get lost in everything that i am trying to make sense of at this point in time, which is like usual... ALOT!!) Anyways, trying to get back to the point....

I have not ever done the relationship thing... i have meantioned that before in prolly a previous blog, and if you know me you know that is the truth, but lately i have sorta tried get out there. Now this hasn't worked so well... in fact it really hasn't worked at all. I met a guy that i was determined to at least give a shot... then come to find out that he has about 3 or 4 kids but different women, is 35yrs old, and still lives with his parents. Not exactly where i would like to start. But i was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, then the stalker-ish side of him came out, and lets just say, i wish he would loose my number! Then another guy took and interest, but he had just broken up with his long-time girlfriend, .... not looking to be a rebound. And reading this i am starting to wonder if i seem to just make excuses in order to not take that first step. I think i want to, but looking at this i would have to 2nd guess myself.

Another thing is that i might not have alot of time for a boyfriend yet. I work ALOT! and never know when i might have to get called in... which if i was the kind of person that said no, it wouldn't matter... but saving up to buy a house will make one work ALOT of hours. Plus there is a factor that i have not had to "answer" or "check " in with anyone in my life... i don't mean for this to sound bad, cuz it's not ness. a bad thing. I just mean that i haven't had to think about someone else before doing whatever it is i want to do... and about 80% of the time, i don't even know what i am doing before i do it. (as little sense as that makes)

But here is the thing, i am usually just the friend. I hang out with guys WAY more than i do girls... and enter into the "friend zone" which is good... if that is where you want to be. Which in most cases i do want to be in that zone... but there are certain times that you think... what if? but the problem with "what if" is that you don't know what the other person is thinking. And i am usually WRONG! lol... Now the question is .... what do i do? And there are prolly alot of different answers to this quetion, which some might lead to more questions... i am just all confused in this area, and prolly need to get professional help with this! haha, (i hope that was a joke) But for now, i am just going to focus on myself. And that is important to me... and kinda what i am use to doing in a way. I am thinking about getting on a fire department and volenteer my time there... so that should be interesting. I am going to learn to not care what others think.. and just make myself happy. not that i wouldn't be happy with someone else in my life... but i have to start somewhere. So for now... i am just going to be me.... and that's all i can be.